SO WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN ALL SCHOOL ASSEMBLY ABOUT GLOBAL STUFF BUT IT WAS A TRAP AND THE TEACHERS FLASHMOBBED US AND THE HEAD OF THE MATH DEPARTMENT JUST ZIPLINED OVER THE CROWD AND THREW CANDY OH MY FUCKING GOD
WHAT TYPE OF SCHOOL DO YOU EVEN GO TO??
A tiger walks into a liquor store…there’s no punchline here.
Is that… a frisbee?
He just wants to play catch
What I love is that it obviously takes the person at the counter a few seconds to process that that is in fact a tiger.
Like, you kinda see their brain going “dog, nope, cat, big cat, big cat with stripes, SHIT, tiger!!!”
And the two people who go dashing out with the distinctive “I have just encountered an unexpected tiger SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT” run.
I like that the second guy leaves the chips or whatever those are. Like, he’s running and falling because TIGER but he will not accidentally shoplift
Can someone draw an adorable tiger that just wants to play frisbee?
A reservoir of water three times the volume of all the oceans has been discovered deep beneath the Earth’s surface. The finding could help explain where Earth’s seas came from.
The water is hidden inside a blue rock that lies 700 kilometres underground in the mantle, the layer of hot rock between Earth’s surface and its core.
Some geologists think water arrived in comets as they struck planets, but the new discovery supports an alternative idea that the ocean oozed out of Earth’s interior layer.
OH MY GODDDDDDD -NERDS OUT-
That’s where the lizard people live
WHAT THE FUCK
I just wanna point something out.
You know how you always see those pictures of the strange types of fish that live in the deep, deep sea?
like this one
or this one
and this one
If any and if possible imagine what the fish look like in the DEEP, DEEP sea.
I’m smelling a million dollar creepy story.
Looks like we found Cthulu. Goddamn humankind, what hell with be wrought on us.
To breath they open and close their mouths to force water over their gills.
And, as you can see, they can be fairly sociable. They can be fairly territorial too, but it’s easy for them to get used to other eels, or even entirely different animals; they can be tamed and love to be petted. Some divers “befriend” wild ones who come to greet them and get cuddles even for years.
The bigger ones can easily bite your fingers off, sure, but the same goes for some dogs. They just don’t know their strength :(
Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.
Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.
There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.
But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?
High five, America!
oh my god
bitch that’s the tubby custard machine
OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING
"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"
10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.